i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
