That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize