genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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