is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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