ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
