Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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