And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
