Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
