I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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