You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
