This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
