Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
