It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
