Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
