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So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
