i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I had to cum in my sink.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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