i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
