she's into porn, im staying here tonight
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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