Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
