I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
