Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
