I smell stomach acid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize
