both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
