Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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