Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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