Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
