I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize