honey bunches of taint.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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