ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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