Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
