I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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