he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
