Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
