Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
