I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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