think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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