Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
