I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
