Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
