So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
