I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
