If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
