saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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