i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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