question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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