you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize