im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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