No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
