But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
