Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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