I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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