Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
