how can u be prego again
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
