I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
