Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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