I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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