help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
