no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
