he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
