As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
