I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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