and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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