I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
